Sunday, September 11, 2011

Instant Reaction





Who sucks, exactly? Polian. Caldwell. Coyer. Collins. Everyone.

We can officially say it now: Jim Caldwell sucks as a head coach in the NFL. Remember when Brady went down and the Pats STILL finished with 10 wins? I think it's fairly safe to say that's not going to happen this season with the Colts. Shouldn't we be seeing SOMETHING creative? One damn thing that makes you think, "Wow, that was smart." For fuck's sake, this offensive line is as porous as SpongeBob's ballsack, yet we call a sweep? Really? A play that requires the line to hold and drive for an extra half second so the running back can even get back to the line of scrimmage before making something happen?

And speaking of the line, Mr. Polian, WHY HAS THIS NOT BEEN FIXED? In two years, Jeff Linkenbach is going to have a sad face when I tell him I brought my own reusable bag to the store, rendering his selection of paper or plastic meaningless. And what's the defense's excuse for this first half? Was Manning calling their plays, too?

Obviously this front office and coaching staff have been leaning on Manning way, way too hard, and maybe it's time to go.



Oh wait, THEY WON'T GO ANYWHERE! They have a built-in excuse with Manning! Who needs to show your own mettle when you can just sit back and chalk it up as a loss? So far this half, the offense looks like a guy playing Madden who relies on the same plays, and when they don't work, he's screwed. Once he gets down by two touchdowns, every single pass is an up-for-grabs long ball. Has there been a third and short yet? It seems like third and long all day, nay, all season long.

And why have the same plays and positions hurt the Colts for ten years? Hey, big shock, the NFL changed special teams rules and we STILL give up a special teams touchdown. Guess what, NFL? If your QB rolls out to the right and your tight end runs across the middle, he WILL catch a first down. Pretty much if you pretend to run a play to one direction and go the other way, the Colts look like a child who was just shown a bird by a magician. The running game has been abysmal since John Wooden was in the fifth grade.

I used to think the players resented Manning because of all the attention he got, and how everyone thought there'd be nothing but doom and gloom if he ever got hurt. Well, turns out it's all true, so they should beg for his return and kiss his feet when he does.

And the defense? Well, they just need to blow it up. IT DOESN'T WORK.

This season sucks.