Now Indy Wants To Die

Tell me about it.

The Lions. The Nets. The Browns. The Pacers. The list goes on and on. Not-so-gentle reminders that a trip to a championship game is a cool, exciting thing.

"I took it for granted. I never thought we'd lose." That's what every single one of my friends (that picked up their phone) said after the game. Every single one.

Looking back upon the first half of my years as a semi-suffering Indianapolis Colts fan, only the 1995-1996 season truly stands out. Zack Crockett's two huge runs; Lin Elliott's three missed kicks for the Chiefs (and the subsequent "Did you hear Lin Elliott tried to hang himself last night? Too bad he missed kicking the stool out from under him" joke); Captain Comeback's heroic, albeit futile, Hail Mary.

And other than that? 3-13. 4-12. 1-15. Rumors of relocation.

It feels pretty damn good knowing you have a shot each and every single year. Playing in the Super Bowl is something to really be proud of.

What if Pierre would have caught that ball? They were up 10-0 and threatening! The Colts were UP 10-0!

I know the feeling.

Seriously, Hank Baskett? If you can't recover an onside kick even though you're a receiver on special teams, meaning this is your ONLY job, exactly what can you do?

Clint Session, how many tackles are you going to miss?

Tim Jennings, how many times do you have to play your receiver seven yards off before you realize he's going to cut back and catch the ball a foot behind the first down marker?

Hey, Bird lost in the Finals. So did Magic. Brady lost in the Super Bowl. The greats do lose.

What now for Manning? He was so close to coming within one of Brady, and halfway to Montana. You can't squander these opportunities when you've been in the league twelve years. And now? He's tied with Brees, and one behind Ben Roethlisberger, even.

Call me when you've felt my pain, buddy.

Can you imagine losing four straight Super Bowls like the Bills? Can you even fathom going undefeated, and the first game you lost was the Super Bowl, like the Pats? Losing one was enough. It feels horrible.

Hey, looks like pulling the starters worked! A horrible, gutless decision, now made even worse.

Good for the city of New Orleans. I hope they're partying hard right now.

Spare us all the sappy, bullshit stories. Phil Simms had a boner the whole game. And they don't need a reason to party - THEY HAVE FUCKING MARDI GRAS! Those insatiable deviants get to do that every year! What do we have? The 500? Where fat guys pass out under trees for hours, to the point where you wonder if they're dead? Where you see the horribly disfigured-by-tanning-and-smoking breasts of a drunken mom of a girl you went to third grade with?

They didn't play their best game.

They weren't as bad as The Who.

Sean Payton and Drew Brees are geniuses today. The onside kick and quarterback play will go down in Super Bowl history.

Not going for the jugular at the end of the first half? Three straight running plays and a punt? What was that? Isn't the Colts' M.O. the two minute drill before halftime?

The Colts have always said "Do what we do", but they didn't do what they do. Not even close.

Eh.

I originally had a lot of ideas for this one, and almost banged home something last night I probably would have been really proud of. It would have captured last night's game in the proper perspective...but now I don't really care. I'm taking a week off of sports (maybe two), a necessary vacation.

I'm leaving the office, and considering I'm guaranteed to see Tracy Porter's interception return for a touchdown at least once every single year for the rest of my life, I'm going to punch out as soon as I can.

Yesterday was just too brutal. The Pens led the Capitals 4-2 at the start of the third period, when that rat fucker Alex Ovechkin scored two straight to tie (giving him a hat trick in the process), foreshadowing the inevitable Caps winning goal with two and a half minutes left in overtime.

IU was hammered by Northwestern, and it wasn't even a surprise.

Then the Colts.

When your team wins the Super Bowl, everybody goes apeshit. You hug strangers. You smile at anyone wearing your team's shirt, hat, or jersey. You smile at everybody. It's a great feeling.

Last night, I stopped to clean my windshield off after the game, and the lady next to me and I just looked at each other for a couple seconds before awkwardly discussing our miscommunication of why I walked in front of her car (to use her washer fluid, since mine was out).

"Hey, it's okay. You're a Colts fan."

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It does."

That about sums it up better than any cute bullshit I can come up with.