I missed the first half of my (go with it) Butler Bulldogs last Saturday to move my grandmother into an assisted living community. Without further ado...
FFGP2 LIVE FROM THE HARRISON!
A half hour before their feeding, the geriatric congregation begins encircling the cafeteria, resembling bloodthirsty Shortfin Makos in a child-filled Gulf of Mexico. Notice the velvet rope to keep them at bay.
This poor soul back in 1945: "Oh well, so we lost the World Series. I'm still a relatively young woman. We'll get back!"
Way to avoid becoming a stereotype of yourself, sleeping old men!
Note: This piano came into play again, prompting me to introduce a new contest:
NAME...SOMETHING...SADDER!
A half hour before their feeding, the geriatric congregation begins encircling the cafeteria, resembling bloodthirsty Shortfin Makos in a child-filled Gulf of Mexico. Notice the velvet rope to keep them at bay.
This poor soul back in 1945: "Oh well, so we lost the World Series. I'm still a relatively young woman. We'll get back!"
Way to avoid becoming a stereotype of yourself, sleeping old men!Note: This piano came into play again, prompting me to introduce a new contest:
NAME...SOMETHING...SADDER!
Welcome, everybody, to the first installment of "Name Something Sadder." I'm your host, Matt Strosnider.
After learning anyone (including guests) can play the piano pictured above, much to the delight of the elderly inhabitants, I wasted no time in sitting at the bench and tickling the ivory. My grandma drove her electric wheelchair over, as did another resident wearing a checkered sport jacket and baseball hat:
Elderly Man
My wife used to play like that. She could play every instrument.
Me
Oh yeah? That's awesome.
Elderly Man
Yes. She was taken from me in 1993.
Me
Man, that sucks. I'm sorry. How long were you two married?
Elderly Man
54 years. 54 glorious, happy years.
My Grandma
Did you have any children?
(A few seconds of silence)
Elderly Man
Have a nice day, son.
(Drives his electric wheelchair away)
My wife used to play like that. She could play every instrument.
Me
Oh yeah? That's awesome.
Elderly Man
Yes. She was taken from me in 1993.
Me
Man, that sucks. I'm sorry. How long were you two married?
Elderly Man
54 years. 54 glorious, happy years.
My Grandma
Did you have any children?
(A few seconds of silence)
Elderly Man
Have a nice day, son.
(Drives his electric wheelchair away)
That concludes today's segment of "Name Something Sadder"!
Got something sadder? Send your submissions to mcstrosnider@gmail.com! Good luck!
PHOTO OF THE YEAR
Not entirely sure of the legality of showing this. All I know is this son of a bitch is the reason I had to get TERMN8R2.
I picture you sitting down at the piano and banging out the most depressing version of "Colorblind" ever heard.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, that was the third song I learned, after "Fur Elise" and "Thunder Road".
ReplyDelete