Searching for the first rung of that corporate ladder you've heard so much about? Has this economy got you sick and tired - of being sick and tired? Look no further than LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA!
Here at Little Caesars Pizza, we specialize in turning "just pizza guys" into "just pizza MANAGERS"!
Oh, do I have your attention now?
Just follow these simple steps to become a valued member of the Little Caesars family!*
(*Offer valid only at participating Little Caesars, like the one on 38th street in Indianapolis)
1. Look in the mirror. Your face should admit your failure.
2. Stop by your favorite Little Caesars and, without shame, ask for an application.
3. Learn how to hold a sign for Little Caesars' $5 "Hot 'n' Ready" pizza promotion.
4. Wait for horrible weather. Say, over six inches of snow in what feels like two degree temperature:
5. Stand outside by a busy street with your sign, you fucking loser.
6. Endure the physical and emotional abuse. As a matter of fact, enjoy it! Customer satisfaction is tops here at Little Caesars! I mean, how are our customers supposed to know of our deals if you don't stand out there on that street? Commercials? Ha!
Little Caesars: Shitting and Vomiting on Our Employees Since 1959!
But hey, it could be worse! We could be Domino's, who willingly spends their advertising dollars like this:
Don't forget to mention that if Little Caesar's won't hire you, just skip on down to the nearest Dick's Sporting Goods warehouse. Rumor has it, they'll hire you even if you have slimy hands and a head too big to fit in a forklift.
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