Lollapadoucha

Today's game...

WHICH ONE OF THESE DOUCHEBAGS DO I ACTUALLY ROOT FOR?

A. Sasha Vujacic

Only a douchebag is in pain playing Fabricio Oberto.

"I'd suck it. Don't care if AIDS on it."

"Luke Walton tell me this American girl is virgin, and I be first."

With his flamboyant flops and "Hey, me too, guys! Me too, Kobe!" mentality, Sasha Vujacic is undoubtedly a douche. But do I root for him?

B. Dustin Pedroia


This guy won an American League Most Valuable Player award. Seriously.

Good thing they have players' names on the back. I wouldn't be able to tell.

While searching for a joke, my brain developed a douche tumor.

Sure, he brought a title to Boston, a team I used to passionately root for. But do I root for him?

C. Novak Djokovic

"The cameras will pick up my chest hair though, right?"


Unknown to the tennis world, Djokovic can shoot douchey sparks out of his hands, but only while wearing boxer-briefs.

Note: He's not alone in this picture. There's an audience wherever he is.

Novak delights crowds with his impressions of other tennis players. Is that enough to win this competition?

D. Matt Leinart

"So...how soon can I go back to USC?" He'd do it in a second, right?


If you have a series of photographs on a website called "The Dirty", there's little hope in escaping Planet Douchebag.


Ah, his glory days in college. Wait, you mean he's in the NFL when this picture was taken? Well, at least he's a starter...

Leinart gets the girls and lived in Hollywood. But do I root for him?

E. Jimmy Clausen

"Would it be douchier if I put my hand like this? Sure thing. Whatever makes me look more ridiculous."

"Alright, guys. Let's make sure we have our wardrobe: Cut shirt? Check. Biker shorts? Check."

No, I did not put that stupid caption in this picture. But it has not been tampered with in any way. This is a REAL photograph.

Are we almost done? Surely I don't root for any of these people.

F. Sean Avery

Get it? He's hockey's bad boy!

He soooo would have played for Iceland in D2: THE MIGHTY DUCKS

Yep, he worked for Vogue in the offseason. No, really.

He dates starlets and plays hockey. Is that good enough?

And the winner is....

E. Jimmy Clausen!

What? He plays for a historic football school in my home state! Good luck Saturday against USC, Jimmy! You big, beautiful douchebag, you! And go Irish!