What Really Happened?

As you might imagine, we here at FFGP2 are treading very carefully in the Dagobah-like swamp that is the biggest controversy in sports right now. This particular story is bleeding over from the sports page and into the gossip section, and people want answers.

Did a stalker steal those pictures from Grady Sizemore or his girlfriend's computer? Or did he willingly release them to the public?

Yes, the Strosnider camp was devastated when ultra-douche pics of his favorite player hit the web. How could I root for someone who takes pictures like that of himself? How could I root for someone that, if I were to wear my jersey t-shirt downtown, someone would say, "Oh, you lookin' for The Ten, that gay bar? It's down off Pennsylvania and 12th." Thanks, Grady. It used to mean a badass defender in the 30-30 club.

If the latest from Deadspin is true, does that make it passable? Does it make it any better if they were hacked by some stalker from his cute girlfriend's computer? Would I be a lame apologist if I put my shirt on, threw on some eye-black, and stood in the mirror saying, "OK, there may be pictures of him holding a tea cup over his dick. Some might be of him holding his balls through some underwear. Could I see myself taking pictures like that and sending them to my girlfriend? Could I?"


From here on out, Tim Lincecum is my favorite major league baseball player. Any reference to Grady Sizemore will be met by the same face Kansas football players give Mark Mangino the second after he coldly insults their culture.

And while I'm telling myself it's nowhere near as douchy as Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, I would appreciate privacy and understanding during this very difficult matter.

JUST END IT

To the ACC-Big 10 Challenge. Pull the plug. It's embarrassing, and further proof the Big 10 is just not on the same level as the elite conferences in basketball (or football, but that's another story). Since 1999, the ACC leads 65-38. Every single Big 10 team has a losing record in the "challenge" except Michigan State, kings of the hill at 5-5. Pathetic.

Quit calling it a challenge or quit it altogether.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT

I took my grandmother to get her blood tested this morning, then to eat lunch at MCL Cafeteria, two places where if your goal when you woke up was to encounter old, decrepid people in their natural habitat, you succeeded admirably. Three stories:

1) At the blood hospital (?), a very overweight woman was letting her whipped husband put her coat on when this exchange happened:

Wife

Ah! Your fingernail cut my hand!

Husband

Huh?

Wife

Your fingernail! It cut my hand!

Husband

What?

Wife

Your fingernail cut my hand!

Husband

Who did?

Wife

You did!

Husband

(Severly confused for five solid minutes)

This may not be as funny in writing. It was just an odd moment in old person history, and I'm glad I witnessed it.

2) At MCL, a very old man was sitting at the table behind us. When he was finished eating, he called over an MCL worker and said, "I'm going to the toilet and then I'm leaving." Fantastic.

3) My grandma is in a wheelchair, so I have to drive one of those vans where the door slides open and a ramp comes out for her to drive up on. Well, this old man illegally parked right next to us (pretty much on the street), so I went inside and told the workers that an old guy illegally parked and would have to come outside and move it so we could go. So he comes out, moves his car, and acts like he saved the day. Check out his new park job:

I would think old people driving were more hilarious if I didn't fear for my own life every single day.

RANDOM VIDEO RANT

This happens in the NBA 2-3 times a game. Can we start calling this? It's so annoying to watch a guy just walk with the ball the second he gets it (in front of the ref, no less) and not get called.

P.S.

I haven't forgotten the odd scene in FOX's pregame show, or the game that's fun even for women (even if you had forgotten). For some reason, Blogger uploads certain videos and not others, causing my blood pressure to reach Weis-ian levels. I swear it's coming. I can't wait until I get the whole web design shit down to where I don't have to use this anymore. Can't. Wait.