Collinsworth: Well, coach, you've won four straight Super Bowls, and some people are starting to talk. Rumors are swirling around the league. They think your brilliance is being caged up by a sport while much more pressing problems exist in the world. Anything else you wanna say on our show, Brad?
CHILL-DRISS! CHILL-DRISS! CHILL-DRISS! CHILL-DRISS! 
"I don't care if it's 3rd and 12 or 2012, I'm getting the job done."
"The American people made the right decision. I will not disappoint you as your leader, so long as you do not disappoint me."
"Hello, New York. You will be the first American city to abandon the term 'President' Childress. Hence forth, I shall be known as King Childress, or, or, or Lord Childress. Yeah, that sounds good. And you shall be known as 'New Brad City', or better yet, 'Bradhattan'. Actually, let's just make it 'Bradhattan'."
Don't get too excited, St. Vincent and the Grenadines. I just got lazy with my coloring.
"Oh, Bradelona. How you thrive under your leader! Wait! Citizen 38ZB! Did you just snicker? Citizens, tear him limb from limb! I will NOT be ridiculed!"
"Chilbots! Robrads! Destroy!"
AH, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE BOXING
Anyone else like watching dudes with cuts like this? While other guys shove and stick Q-tips in said cuts and make blood drip? If you said yes to both questions, you like boxing.
That leads to this week's...
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
"It's almost as if he has a stick with a...with a bowling ball at the end of it!" ~ Gus Johnson, on Andre Ward, who beat Mikkel Kessler (seen above)
"A home judge referee. How you say?" ~ Kessler, through broken English, after being headbutt(en?) twice, causing the cuts
"I think Daunte Culpepper is trying to revitalilze his career here in Detroit." ~ Troy Aikman
(Other possible quotes for Aikman include, "I think the sun is a ball of gas"; "I think the bucket was an important invention"; and "I think human beings are on to something with this whole 'computer' thing."
"My goodness, he's getting sacked almost every time. The ones that are supposed to be guarding for (Eli) Manning, are they not doing their job?" ~ Louise Hoffa, my 85-year old grandmother
"That's, uh, Boss...er...Champ Bailey." ~ Matt Millen
(Now I know you drafted Boss Bailey and wanted him to develop into even one half the player his brother is, but come on, Matt. Just come on.)
"(Mark) Pope doing a good job on McGrady." ~ Whoever was calling the 2001 Magic-Bucks game I watched last night on NBATV
"I'm going for it on 4th down. We're 2-7, what the fuck difference does it make?" ~ An anonymous Cincinnati Bengals coach from the 90's, on NFL Network's "Worst Teams Ever" show.
(That inspires confidence, right? He wasn't fired, was he? He was? Oh.)
CONVERSATIONS OF THE WEEK
My 12-year old nephew, Ian
Who's that guy?
Me
That's the FOX Robot. Why? You like him?
Ian
No. He's weird.
(I think you're missing your demographic there, FOX)
***
Ian's 9-year old brother, Grahm
What about (JaMarcus) Russell?
Me
He's not the starter anymore.
Grahm
Yeah, that's good.
THE "HEY, JUST BE HAPPY I GOT YOU A CARD" AWARD
Isn't it weird that they make birthday cards that say "Stepdad" or "Stepmom" on it? It's like you're saying, "Hey, I wanted to get you something for your birthday, but I wanted to use this as an opportunity to remind you yet again that you are not, and never will be, my biological parent. Happy birthday!"
Happy Thanksgiving. Hope you're not an idiot out there shopping.
I watched that "Worst Teams Ever" show. I really enjoyed the profile on the 1995 Jets, just because of their uniforms. It brought out the incompetence of the franchise more than I remembered. I'd like to see Rex Ryan patroling the side lines with an old school 1990's Jet logo Starter jacket.
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