NBA Tuesday

How chic is NYC LBJ? Let's just say the hipsters were confused when they looked at the autograph and it didn't say Tunde Adebimpe.

Can you fathom life for LeBron? Can you imagine going to the biggest city in America and not feeling overwhelmed, but overwhelming it? He's had New Yorkers begging for him to come for years now. He's had Spike Lee and Chris Rock drooling over him during courtside interviews. He even practically blew off A-Rod (who had just won the World Series the night before) to talk to Jay-Z. He goes between the legs and hotdogs a pass or dunk after the whistle, just to hear MSG go "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". And he's also had just under 25 years under his belt on this planet. Unbelievable.

"The atmosphere, just that the atmosphere was great. There were a lot of stars in the building, and it's humbling to have guys like the Yankees come out and Jay-Z. It's really, really humbling to see some of the Giants out, John Legend; I saw Chris Rock. You almost feel like you're a performer sitting on a stage and they're watching you perform."

Um, how is that humbling again? If that were me, I'd do the postgame interview in a ridiculous matching leather outfit and ask my posse what club we were going to like Eddie Murphy at the end of "Delirious". I would have made my "yeah, I kinda sorta got H.I.V." speech by now.

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE IN YOUR NBA TEAM'S PROGRAM IF WINNING IS IMPORTANT TO YOU

LET'S DISSECT A QUOTE!

"To begin with, I was the guy who had as much to do as anybody to bring him here.(1) We're going to be going over some of the things that appear to be problems and so on, like I would with any other player. Obviously there's all kinds of different issues, and that's why I'm here.

I feel more involved in this team than in any team I've had in the 10 years since I've owned the Grizzlies.(2) I feel like I have a responsibility to Allen because I'm the guy that talked him into coming here.

I think Allen Iverson is one of the greatest players to ever play the game. He's my wife's favorite player(3)...that didn't play a big role (in signing him), but it did play a little role.(4) Quite frankly, we've got a better chance of winning with Allen than we did without him. My reaction is I didn't agree with (his statements), but I'm not out here to talk about that.(5) That's water under the bridge.(6)"

~Grizzlies owner Michael Heisley

1) I'm the owner. Is that going to sound redundant?

2) The team's record since I bought it? 287-458. I felt it was a good time to get involved. So fuck you, Bryant Reeves!

3) My wife wants to have sex with Allen Iverson.

4) My pathetic submission even overlaps into my job in professional sports.

5) Starting...now.

6) Whoops. Now.

PHOENIX SUNS GAME LOG

@ PHI W - 119-115

@ WAS W - 102-90

@ BOS W - 110-103

@ ORL L - 100-122

@ MIA W - 104-96

MIN W - 120-112

GSW W - 123-101

@ LAC W - 109-107

Steve Nash has had 20 assists in one game this season - twice. The lesson, as always, if you're a betting man and you want to gamble on the Suns, bet the over.

Speaking of scoring, did anybody happen to see the scores from last night? Five games were played - PHO @ PHI (109-107); UTA @ NYK (95-93); TOR @ SA (124-131); MIN @ GS (105-146); and NO @ LAC (112-84).

The NBA: Where Defense Happens?

KOBE V. LEBRON - SEXIFIED

My Girlfriend: Yeah, I mean I kind of see how women find LeBron sexy. I just don't see it with Kobe, though.

Me: Does Kobe's rape case have anything to do about that?

My Girlfriend: Kobe had a rape case?

Kobe's PR people strike again!

The Twelve Seconds That Ensues When Adam Morrison Touches The Ball In An NBA Game